date a boy who’s a wolf. not figuratively a wolf literally date a fucking wolf. wolves are strong and cute and have powerful jaws for crushing the bones of men who harass you on the street. wolves are better than men in every respect. have you ever seen a man kill an elk with his teeth, howl at the moon, run at speeds of 35 mph. wolves CANNOT call you slurs
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole