mond0: hey…we’ve been liking and reblogging each others posts for a while now, i think its time we move on to the next step in our relationship. anal
earthnation: *steps in something wet* *screams for 34 years*
i don’t know why everyone makes the grim reaper out to be a bad guy i mean he’s just taking to you to the afterlife it’s not like he killed you it’s actually quite nice of him to walk you there imagine if you had to go alone
chibisokka: frankly I’d like to know what happened to the emperor’s previous groove
shesdonejim: “you’re not hungry you’re just bored”
linetteherondale: spring is coming gotta shave those legs *takes out the lawnmower from the shed*
bonapartist: so i was looking up stuff about birth control throughout history and
shelikestheboysintheband: kaz-24601: tootsienoodles: sam-vurps: fallingforev3r: hotllamasex: kanayatheawkwardlesbian: saying ‘since you support gay marriage you must be gay’ is like saying ‘since you support obama you must be obama’ we are all obama And I swear in that moment we were Obama We accept the Obama we think we deserve sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with...
The first time I go into someones house:
idk why people take me so seriously i never even know what im saying
awkwardvagina: so i googled gangster goose and let me tell you that i was not disappointed
It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this...– Hugh Laurie (via julieyumi)
markpelledreamy: the-perks-of-being-a-megan: gan-firling: lestradescakeprintthong: dirk-gives-ironic-head: moriartyisqueen: Mitt Romney goes to prom Mitt Promney Mitt Romney goes for food Mitt Nomney Mitt Romney gets a sex change Mitt Momney Mitt Romney is explosive Mitt Bombney Mitt Romney can’t sleep Mitt Insomney Mitt Romney loses the election Mitt Romney
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
lameborghini: eyelids are like soft little rugs for your eyeballs if u wanted to think about it like that but idk why u would Yoooo
180mph: vaspim: lameborghini: asking for nudes over snapchat is a dumb idea nigga how you gon masturbate in 10 seconds or less smh Is this a challenge *Sonic X theme song starts playing*
lameborghini: starllex: lameborghini: actual-savior-jesus-christ: lameborghini: im mentally a cute gay boy but physically a boring teen white girl s what does this mean It stands for saved. It means you’ve been saved. You did it. saved by jesus at last
nialurs: game BOY??? *bangs fist on the table* FEMINISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
americugh: When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has
dottily: there is only one way to dance to this...
iamwizz: The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you